Why pregnant mums are antagonistic
Posted By: ADAEZE AMOS
Are you pregnant and you antagonise everybody around you especially your husband? You are not the only one in this. You often feel miserable after seeing that you have lost your shape, waistline and you look bloated due to pregnancy, not to worry. It’s just a nine-month thing. Or are you feeling like the only non-glowing pregnant woman in the world? Here’s why — and why it’s totally okay.
But first remember that you probably weren’t expected to literally glow all through your nine months of gestational period. Or if the reason for being agitated is because of your nonstop peeing, the foot swelling, the possibility of stretch marks suddenly appearing in odd places…and of course, the dreaded morning sickness. Why not brace up and accept your bodily changes? Though it’s not your fault to feel the way you are. Reason is that tons of mamas-to-be, have realized that pregnancy is not just about carrying protruded tummy around, it is inconveniencing.
If you are feeling agitated and experiencing dramatic outbursts, here are tips to help you out
If you’re experiencing fits of crying and anger, you can blame it on one main culprit: your hormones! Your progesterone and oestrogen levels are changing drastically right now, as are other hormones, like relaxin (which helps to soften pelvic ligaments for delivery). It will all level out a bit during your second trimester, but the extreme moodiness could return with a vengeance toward the end of your third trimester.
But it’s not all hormones. Women who say they hate being pregnant may attribute their general misery to psychological factors too. Little wonder moms-to-be often have tons of new (and not always so positive) thoughts floating through their heads during pregnancy, and all can play key roles in affecting their happiness. For one, there’s the notion that pregnancy is supposed to equal voluptuous beauty — and if you’re not feeling so beautiful, well, the whole idea of the “glow” seems like a farce, and that’s enough to piss anyone off. There’s also the pressure some women feel to live up to this mythical “perfect mom” standard, perfect not just in actual parenting but in losing the baby weight as soon as possible too. Know it that except for a few women (whose body miraculously seemed to get hotter with each kid), that “perfect mom” just doesn’t exist.
To add to that, it’s common for pregnant women to start feeling detached from their bodies, says Dr. James Ukoh, a general practitioner: “As your belly gets bigger, it’s almost like your body doesn’t belong to you anymore.” Sound familiar? Sure, maybe other pregnant ladies don’t mind the fact that everyone from the home to the lady in the grocery store suddenly wants to touch their belly — but not you. And guess what? That’s okay.
How can you get through it?
Remember that pregnancy only lasts nine months. Keep reminding yourself of that fact. After that, you can kiss the queasiness, the uncomfortable bloat, the embarrassing gas, and the ever-present feeling of a baby sitting on your bladder good-bye. (Now, that’s a comforting thought…) In the meantime, try adapting to an attitude of “whatever happens, I’ll get through it.” Empower yourself.
Never feel guilty for the way you feel. For many women, admitting that they hate being pregnant makes them feel ungrateful or unappreciative to even be able to be a mother, so they either keep quiet about how they feel or get down on themselves as a result. But that’s not the right attitude to have. Hating pregnancy and being a good mother have absolutely no connection.
Make time for yourself. You can overcome by making yourself happy. Make appointments with yourself — whether it is enjoying a prenatal massage or just sitting down to do things you love and make yourself happy. Scatter little pick-me-ups throughout the week to look forward to.
Surround yourself with people. Okay, being around a crowd of people might be the last thing you want to do when you’re feeling miserable. But that is the best thing for you — as long as you surround yourself with the right people. Invite a few good friends to lunch or take a walk in the park with your best friend. Keeping yourself busy and social will help squelch many of the negative thoughts before they even have the chance to crop up.
Don’t dwell on bad feelings. Surround yourself with a support group, yes. Throw yourself a pity party, no. Make sure you don’t cross that fine line of venting, only to constantly dwell on the negative.
Keep your sense of humour. Pregnancy comes with its fair share of unsexy symptoms. The best way to deal with peeing your pants when you sneeze or waking yourself up in the middle of the night with atrocious pregnancy gas? Laugh.
When should you call your doc?
Knowing when you’re just dealing with normal pregnancy emotions and when it may be something more serious can be tricky, since many common pregnancy symptoms and depression symptoms overlap. So look out for the following warning signs that may mean you’re crossing the line and should talk to your doctor.
Normal: Your mood is up and down, but there is generally a natural ebb and flow to your emotions. There’s some occasional crying, but it’s not extreme.
Not normal: Your mood is by and large down, you’re feeling gloomy day after day, and you have chronic feelings of hopelessness.
Normal: In general, your self-esteem has remained pretty much intact and unchanged since becoming pregnant.
Not normal: Your self-esteem is dramatically low, you often talk negatively about yourself, and you have feelings of guilt. You may often say or think you are going to be a terrible mother or that your partner will no longer want you after the baby arrives.
Normal: Though you may have some trouble sleeping through the night, you’re usually able to fall back to sleep again once you’ve woken up
Culled from National Mirror